Uh... Err... Umm... Err... Well... Ignore the crappy look, ayt? Filling up the necessary details for me to get on with this was already too much of a troublesome hassle to last me a day. Well, nyweiz, I don't really know why I signed up for this thingy in the first place!! Err... Maybe because I'm bored... and I'm dumb... O.o ... Ignore me.

Let's just get this thing over with, ayt? Either you read on or fuck off, I don't give a damn. I'm feeling constipated right now... I wanna go to my sanctuary...

*eherm!*

Today... is a very boring day, as always. I skipped school because I've figured that I don't really need to attend classes... because I'm a cow (moo!). Besides, it's too troublesome. Wasting your time in that torture chamber when in fact you can just chill out in your own comfy house and do whatever you wish to do. As for my case, I'm currently sitting my lazy bum before the PC typing this sh*t.

I'm talking rubbish here, ain't I? O__o

Well, anyways, I don't have anything much to write here. After all, it's only morning and I still haven't washed my face or brushed my teeth. I don't have anything more to share! Maybe I'll drop by later... or not. It's too troublesome.

Gawd, I *really* need to go to the CR now...

Here I am again. Oh, joy. Err... I've absented from school again... But I have a pretty good reason, I swear!! See, we had this class trip in Mt. Banahaw yesterday and our group got separated during the hike. Unluckily for me, I was the only one without a partner so when I was already descending the mountain alone, I slipped and crashed to a big rock, earning a huge lump on my head and a dislocated bone in my ankle from my remarkable carelessness and stupidity. ^__^ If you ask me, that was a pretty good alibi...

Maa! I don't really care if you believe me or not anyways. It's not as if y'all will be throwing kunais at me for not attending classes. -_-;;;

Okay, I'll cut the crap. I'll just go straight to my point and type down all the things that have happened to my very typical and boring life so far since my last update.

Yeah... We had our field trip yesterday, as I mentioned. I couldn't sleep the night before that because I was too anxious in packing up my things for the said excursion. I was also afraid that I might wake up late and, err... You get the idea, right?

During the trip to Quezon Province where Mt. Banahaw is located, nothing much happened, I guess. Since most of us woke up earlier than usual, it was no surprise that majority of the class was sleeping soundly when we took off. I remember one classmate of mine commenting (in a *very* sardonic way) how fun and exciting we were on the trip, snoring loudly instead of making ear-piercing noises that we aren't obviously allowed to make in school. Bleh! Well, I don't give a fuck on that. I was too busy debating on what color of panties I'd be wearing after we take a bath in a river-- which I didn't care to remember the name.

I'm feeling too lazy to narrate all the events that took place. I'll just skip some parts now, okish? Err... I've already mentioned about the hike, right? Ah, good, good! Then I'll just get on with the cave-thingy. ^__^

Uh... Maybe not. Seccie-chan is *really* not in the mood to do extra work right now-- that is, if you call this work. Mendou kuse... Err... Err... But I'll let you in on one happy detail!!

That has gotta be my most frightening, nerve-wracking, exciting, fulfilling and unique experience I've *ever* had... so far!! XD Though I came home tired, sleepy, with my hair and face all messed-up and my poor body looked as if it was severely battered, I STILL ENJOYED IT!!! ^__^ Sure, I had a fever going on, but who cares?!

And look!! I had almost all of my toenails broken because of that fucked-up cave adventure!! Wasn't that sweet? :D 

Lulalulalu~!!!

... Oh, I'm sOoOoOo going to kill those facilitators as soon as I get my butt outta my bed... <INNER SECCIE: HELL YEAH!! THOSE GUYS ARE *DEAD*!!>

Just got home from choir practice... and I soOoOo hated it--- but not as much as I do here at home!! God, I soOoOo hate my mom. I'm currently not in the right mood to tell y'all about it... BUT IT SUCKS LIKE HELL!!

... And she says I act CHILDISH AND IMMATURE?!?! Puh-leaze! She's wAaAaAaAaAay better doing it than I do, more-so any other person I know!!

Nyweiz, forget her. Mother-dearest and all other things concerning her and her twisted mind aren't worth the space in this entry of mine.

My day went out boring (as always!) so I don't think I have anything interesting to share--- 'cept the time when that fucking prefect of ours chewed me out for wearing shorter socks (partly true...) and putting on make-up (EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T!!!)!!! That "Chaka Doll" has always been so triumphant in ruining my day whenever she gets the chance to, and I'm sick of it.

Gawd! Just because she can't find any guy who would either agree to go out with her OR go out with her AND screw her brains out afterwards doesn't mean she can throw off all her irritation and frustration on me!! (Inner Seccie: HELL YEAH!! DIE, STUPID PREFECT, DIE!!!)

Err... Am I making any sense here? O.o

Oh, f*ck it. I don't give a damn.

I'm outta here. I still need to finish my A.P. research, so... Yeah...

I'm not afraid to die, because I know that you'll be there waiting for me...

The dream I had last night has gotta be one of the most depressing ones I've ever had. I woke up crying and my body felt that it had been beaten up badly that I couldn't even manage to get myself out of bed. I couldn't understand myself.

In my dream, I was with 'him'. We were sitting under a tree. I was reading a book while he appeared to be sleeping with his head on my lap. We were on our school uniforms then. The atmosphere was peaceful. I closed the book and put it down. I stared at his face.

It was totally blood-free. No traces of pain or whatsoever either. His face was calm. For a moment, I couldn't believe that he could be capable of looking fragile when he's asleep, since he looked intimidating and arrogant most of the time. Meh. But he was a nice catch, that I can assure y'all.

Black-brown hair. Thin, soft lips. White skin. Dark brown eyes underneath those perfect eyelids. He was indeed handsome. I wish I could say the same to his attitude--- but that would be a different story.

Quiet, insensitive, composed and moody, he was my real live Sasuke-kun. True, it's very rare to find a guy like that, but I did. We argue most of the time because we're polar opposites, but that was our way of bonding with each other. Little by little, I grew quite accustomed to it.

Whenever we walked home together, I would always stare at him. I realized that even though we hung out together, I still didn't know much about him. Yes, he was mysterious. He wouldn't open himself up to me. I felt pissed off at that, thinking that I wasn’t trustworthy enough for him, but he would just shrug off the thought and fasten his pace at walking, telling me that he would leave me behind if I didn't catch up with him.

Of course, I did what he told me. Being left alone in a street full of drunkards and half-clothed men didn't spell fun to me at all. I was already a good arms length to him, but then he stopped, causing me to crash to his back and fall on my butt due to the impact.

Luckily, no one noticed what happened. I was about to yell at him for being such a big jerk (again!) when he extended his hand to me and said:

"You know, you don't have to chase me anymore,"

What the---

"Because I won't leave you..."

Gawd, he was *really* hard to figure out. He knew nothing about treating girls properly, but he was a genius in making them feel special with just a simple word. For countless times, he had encouraged me. Though he would always insult me afterwards, that didn't matter anymore.

One time, he laughed at me when I mentioned that I was afraid to die. It came out suddenly. We were hanging out in front of our house then. I couldn't help but blush, but then he calmed down and told me that "Death is just like taking a poop. It's natural! When you gotta go, you gotta go,".

I was flabbergasted at the way he said those words to me. I didn't know that he could be capable of joking--- that is, if it was meant to be a joke. Surprisingly though, all my worries were instantly erased, and I found myself laughing (in relief? I'm not really sure...).

I saw him frown when I giggled. Oh yeah. He didn't like people making fun of him or his comments. But I couldn't help it. I continued laughing. I didn't even notice that he had already stood up and was about to leave.

Immediately, I called to him. He didn't answer and continued walking away from me. Irritated, I threw to him the only thing that I could reach of. A piece of my platform sandal. It was newly bought, but since I don't have anything else to throw at him just to get his attention, I didn't have any other choice.

I watched him rub his head before bending down to pick up my sandal. I waited for a response--- an insult, a raise of eyebrow, a callous "What?", an outburst... Nothing came though. Instead, he merely turned to me. At first, his expression was stern, making me wonder if I hit him that hard to anger him like that, but then he smirked and said:

"Thanks for the souvenir. I'll take good care of this sandal, ayt?"

That was the very last time we've seen each other. Our only interaction since then was merely through the phone or chat, since his family decided to move to another place. He remained the same, being that cunning and tactless of a bastard who would always piss the hell out of all the guys and still be cool enough for the gals to drool on. I would always tease him about it, but he would just scoff and change the subject.

True, he disliked being the center of attention.

Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, our little connection was finally put to a halt. It had been a long time since I've seen his face, heard his voice and touched his hand, but I'm used to it now. Even though I've been missing him badly, I completely understand our situation. After all, we are in a long-distance relationship. A *really* long one.

As I woke up from my slumber, I spent drawn-out moment thinking of what I've dreamt of. That guy hardly visited me in my dreams, but every time he did so, I would always wake up crying.

I shrugged and focused my thoughts on our last conversation. Death is like taking a poop, huh? It was truly funny, but come to think of it, it did make sense. No use getting scared of it.

Besides, I have another pretty good point why death should not be feared. Other than the fact that it's unconditional and inevitable, it can also be a reason to be reunited with your beloved ones whom you’ve parted with.

So, yeah...

No matter what happens, I'm not afraid of dying anymore...

Right now, I’m holding the other pair of the sandal that he took. I smile as I picture his smirking face in my mind.

Because I know that he is there waiting for me...

Err... Nothing much happened AGAIN today. I woke up feeling sick, since I got my period. Right now, I'm suffering from a severe case of dysmenorrhea, which made me absent from class AGAIN. It sucked, but saying that I hated it would be a lie.

Only 1 more day and it'll finally be our sem break. So excited!! ^_^ I can't wait to---

*** Cell phone ringing. 1 message received. ***

Message:

Gen! Dance rehearzal nd grup mitin' 4 d TLE proj sum tym j'ring da sem. Don't 4get, aytz?Ü -PaO-

***End of message. ***

Okay, scratch that. On 2nd thought, I don't think that our 1-week break would be THAT great. Heck! It's gonna be as tedious as going to school!! Err...

Bah! Forget it!

Oh yeah! I've just taken my UST entrance exam last Sunday. The test wasn't all that bad, but I'm not certain if I could pass. Poor me...

That was the only university I've applied to, so when I took the test, I was like betting my whole -future- (Woah! That came out surprising! O.o) on it.

*** Seccie-chan in [Pessimistic] mode. X__x ***

If I fail that stupid exam, my whole family's gonna kill me!! T_T Well, if they become kind enough, maybe they'd consider letting me apply for the next semester. But then, I'd be an Octoberian, and I soOoOo don't want that!!!

*** Seccie-chan in [Panic] mode. O__O ***

Gawd, I wanna pass the test!! I want to be a cartoonist, not some old housewife (if I'll be lucky enough to even marry a guy) or... or... some stupid beggar asking for alms while residing under the bridge or---

*BzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzttt!!*

Aiyaa~!!

*BzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzttt!!*

Waaaahh~!!

*BzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzttt!!*

Lulalulalu~!!!

*BzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzttt!!*

*BzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzttt!!*

*BzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzttt!!*

....................

*** Seccie-chan in [Dead] mode. ***

Exams are finally over!! Yay! Though I'm afraid that I didn't study in any way AT ALL, I'm still happy because we're through with it. We'll be having our Christmas party and dance tomorrow, and I'm super excited!! ^_^ I can't wait for it!! I can't wait to hand out my gifts to my friends and open mine as well!! Gawd, I'm being sOoOoOo hyper right now!!

Lulalulalu~!!

Oh yeah, I'm currently 'obssessed' with Gundam SEED right now. Dunno why. Maybe it's because I fell in love with Athrun's English voice... soOoOoOo SE-KU-SHI~!! Whehehehe... I hate FLLAY, she's a f*ckin' bia-T-C-H!! Hope she dies... and I'm glad she does in the end! :D

Uh-oh... My i-net connection's dying on me!! Err... I'll get back to y'all on this one, okish?

Toodles!!

... For now~ XD

Just got back from our Xmas Dance. I'm sOoOoOoOo wasted!! Though it didn't really turn out to be the kind of party I had in mind, I guess I can say that I had fun nonetheless... NOT!! It wasn't that awful, but my mood was destroyed when one of my budz (who has transferred school lately because she was kicked out of the school) mentioned some things 'bout my EX-prospect (She's currently attending the same school as HIM)!! Gee, I was trying *really* hard to forget about him, and then she suddenly came in and ruined it all!! Well, not that I'm angry or anything... I was just... err... pissed off... yeah... I guess that's it.

Anyways, on the lighter note, I received MANY gifts this day!!! ^_^ I was really surprised, because I wasn't expecting to have presents. Okay, I was-- but not THAT many! 0.o Most of them were from my friends, of course, and the bigger ones in the huge paper bags were from -*eherm!*- some other peeperz whom I think is too personal to include in the PUBLIC journal. Whehe... I was very thrilled when I received a cute, gigantic teddy bear! XD I've been dying to get 1 of those since I'm a HUGE bear fanatic! I also received a cute pair of footsies and a big heart pillow! Happee-happee~!! :D But then, when I was almost convinced that the day --err... night-- would turn out fine after all, *something* surprising came up.

I got a gift from HIM. Enclosed in a large paper bag wrapped in a cute combination of pink and white cloth paper with a huge ribbon in the middle. It was a stuff toy of Spongebob Squarepants. It was cute, in fairness. When I took it out, a single red rose fell out of the bag. It was a scented fake rose. 'ROMANCHIKKU!!' I thought. But then, I saw a big envelope inside the box. It was addressed to moi, from him, and when I was already opening it, I somehow felt uncomfortable. Dunno why. However, when I read his message in the huge greeting card, I finally figured out what the problem was.

I felt hurt.

Maybe it was because it had been already months now since that happened or I'm just an overly emotional girl, but either way, I can still see the problem. I'm missing him, and what *really* hurt is that I couldn't do anything about it because no matter what I do, there's absolutely no way for me to see him again. For now, I can only go take a trip down Memory Lane and reminisce all those times I've had with him, and that REALLY sucks!

He was already long gone, so I had to get over it. I tried my best to suppress the tears that were about to fall while I was reading the card, and I was glad that my attempt was successful. I've already promised that I wouldn't cry for him anymore, you see. I knew what he hated the most were girls crying... especially over him so... I JUST HAVE TO DROP IT! I'd save those crying and contemplating times for later because it would be really embarrassing if my classmates would see me in such a state.

Right now, I still don't know what I'm feeling. I left the party early because I got so anxious and depressed. While I'm typing this entry, HE's the only one I've been thinking of, and I'm guessing that I won't be able to get a good night sleep this time because of what happened.

Gawd, just why am I soOoOoOo affected by him?! Even now that he's gone?!?!?! Hauu... Thanks to him, I didn't get the chance to enjoy the party, and now I have to wallow in another session of distress and depression because of what he did.

...Because up until now, I'm afraid to say that I still love him.

Woah. Didn't realize that it's already been too long since my last update... O.o Well, err... What can I say? I must have gotten too occupied lately.

*eherm!*

Anyway, what's up with me lately? Err... Umm... Nothing changed, I guess. I'm flunking my Physics and MOI, which is obviously NOT a good thing, since I'm a candidate for graduating. It sucks, but I have to attend remedial classes AGAIN to catch up. Meh! -_-;;; Screw it...

And yeah... We're done with our Instramurals. As expected, we bagged the Championship award. Maa! We're the Seniors after all! (I'm a VIKING~!!!) O.o Err... What came up as VERY unexpected though was the fact that we... *sniff* lost to the JUNIORS in the cheering competition!!!! T__T DOUSHITE?!?!?! Err... I've yet to recover from the shock... but gawd!! It's SO hurtful!!!! >__< OH, THE SHAME!!!!

TAGOOSH!!

....................

O.o;;;

Okay, *eherm!* I think I'm all right now... So... Umm... Well, tomorrow's our retreat! ^_^ Honestly, I'm not THAT thrilled about the whole idea. I mean, 3 days?!?! WITHOUT ANY PC OR TV??!?! O.o That's what I've been worrying about, actually. I can't imagine myself like that... err.. Get what I'm saying here? BAH!! Forget it! I'm too [blah!] to make any updates with this LJ of mine anyways. Be back after 3 days!! Sore ja~ XD

Yikes... I've been slacking off with my journal here, haven't I? Oh well! It's not like anyone cares if I update or not. Beh! Anyway, let me have you catch up to the happenings in my life since my last entry, ayt? Hmmm... Hmmm... Hmmm...

[RETREAT] I feel indifferent about it. I mean, yeah, it was kinda touching, I guess, but I REALLY MISSED THE INTERNET!!! T__T I was bored to death back there, but at the same time, I *kinda* enjoyed it. I mean, I get to bond with my adviser and classmates and all. We were able to open up to one another and share our... err... *innermost* feelings... err... You know the rest!! Nyaha!! Still feeling groggy and drained from the nap I had so excuse me. But I missed my family! Weird huh? But it's true. The retreat made us realize how important our family is to us, which made the whole class cry... A LOT!! And that included me, of course. My eyes were already hurting from all the crying yet I couldn't stop doing so. It sucked! (INNER SECCIE: HELL YEAH!! I'LL KILL THAT PRIEST FOR MAKING ME SO PATHETIC LIKE THAT!!! *punches fists in the air repeatedly*)

[VALENTINE'S DAY] Woah, bummer. Surprisingly, it turned out *more* colorful this year. Why? I received an anonymous gift, which consisted of a huge (or long?) bouquet of white roses, a heart-shaped balloon and a teddy bear. What's more shocking was that it was even delivered to school!! DURING CLASSES!!! O__O I was so red from embarrassment, and my classmates wouldn't stop bugging me about the "mysterious" sender!! I'm not used to THAT kind of attention, so you can imagine my rather "pitiful" state back there. It wasn't until last week when I FINALLY found out who was the sh*thead who sent me the gift, and the sh*thead actually turned out to be-- Well, you don't really care much about who he is... do you? O.o Well, if in case you do, his name's Russel. Ahahaha~ XD

Anyways, I'm feeling too lazy to continue AGAIN. I'll shut up now, and spend the rest of the night sleeping AGAIN. *yawns* Oh yeah... I still have to finish the 3rd chappie of my latest ficcie... Err... What to do? What to do? What to do?

Hmm... Hmm... Hmm... *yawns* This is getting really troublesome...

7 hours left until I finally graduate!! Yes, yes, time flies by sOoOoOo fast. It seems only yesterday when I was a little, cute grade schooler, running after skirt-lifting boys... And now?! O.O It's still too hard for me to believe that this'll be my last day as a high school student. Somehow, it makes me sad, but what can I do? That's just the way things are, right?

It's hard to let go, really. All those memories shared with your closest buds and teachers, the parties attended, the feeling of getting your heart broken because of a love that can never (ever!) be... You know what I'm talking about, right?

Remembering them makes it harder for me to see things the way they should really be, but I'll try. I'm a big girl now after all. At this moment, I'm fully capable of handling things that are much harder to deal with, so everything's going to be okay.

In any case, graduation doesn't mean it's already the end, right? I believe it opens a chance for a new beginning of life. Just because something good ends doesn't mean something better won't begin, and one will be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end.

Right now, it's my time to fly, and despite all those hurdles that'll be surely coming my way, I'll make sure that I'll live.

...Along with those precious memories forever engraved in my heart.

Love you a bunch, guys! Thanks for everything!!

"UMAGANG DARATING"
(Graduation Song)

Sa paghalo ng dilim sa aking paglisan
Ako ay nag-iisip, naghihintay umaraw
Sasalubong anumang hadlang
May bukas pa naman
Hindi mabubulag sa takipsilim
Hindi mawawala sa dilim

Hindi takot masubukan anuman ang darating
Mga luha sa iyong mata'y natutuyo sa hangin
Mawala man ang ngiti ng aking tadhana
Ako'y narito, lagi mong kasama
Problema'y wag pansinin
May bukas pang tatahakin

* Wag kang mag-alala
  Ngumiti ka na
  Darating din ang umaga
  Basta't kasama ka
  May pag-asa pa
  Darating din ang umaga

Hawak kamay nating abutin ang ating pangarap
Saanman ako papunta, anuman ang kaharap

*
*

Whoo!! I can't believe I'm back! Ahaha~

Well, I won't say anything much right now, except for the fact that I finally know a little HTML to spice up the ol' boring, crappy look of my LJ!! ^____^ Like the new layout? Haha! Still not done with it though.

I'll get back to y'all after I've finished redesigning this thingy, so stay tuned, minna!! XD~

Hmmm... Still not done with the final layout of my beloved blog... Err... This SO sucks... >___<

Anyways, before I continue with another mind-boggling session with my bloggie's codes and scripts, lemme have the privelege of updating you on Seccie-chan's life (since my last post)~

* Attended the Grad Ball in Quezon City's New World Renaissance Hotel. I don't know if I got the name right, and I can't really remember when the exact date was, being the fickle-minded b*tch that I am. 
* Experienced the boring, but still much-anticipated summer vacation. I refused to go to the beach, because I didn't want to get another sunburn. Nasty!
* Celebrated my 17th birthday on May 02 in our house, with my relatives and 2 of my gurlaloOz. It was really a blast, considering it was also Download-day-of-the-month Day! :D And yezz... Surprise! Surprise! I also received a pretty bouquet of flowers from Russel, whose birthday was also on the same day! Ahaha~ He got it delivered to me (as always), and my cousins just wouldn't stop bugging me about the dude.
* I got my first highlights!! ^___^
* Entered college in UST on June 15. Met many (pretty) boys, new friends and classmates. It was the real turning point of my life.

So I guess that's about it. O___o Well, now that I'm done, I'll carry on with my layout changing chuva-ness. Toodles, y'all~

Bloggie is almost done. Just have to get rid of that annoying thingy in the sideline~ Meh.

Woah! Can't believe the 1st sem is already over! XD~ Aiyaa! Seccie-chan feels like dancing!!

*break-dances*

Anyways, I won't be attending UST this 2nd semester anymore. I'm moving to another place, uh-huh. Just so you know, it's a place full of pok-poks! Ahaha~

So, what to share? What to share?

Err... Since I'll be moving, I'll get to have a 3-month vacation. I still haven't planned out what to do in those days, but I'll make sure I'll do something fruitful. Maybe I can update my long-forgotten ficcies! :D I'm sure some peeperz would want that. Haha! I can also download lotsa stuffs and recover my whole anime collection, which had been all deleted when my crappy (but beloved!) PC crashed all of a sudden. TT___TT Maybe I can pay a visit to a certain Reno-drooling pork and bug her? Oooh, can't wait! Or maybe I can just make a diet plan and lose lotsa weight during my vacation?? Hmmm... Sounds kinda hard... Moo.

Moving on, I checked out a cool manga made by Yazawa Ai, "Kagen no Tsuki ~ Last Quarter". Gawd, it was great! I cried when the story was already in its climactic parts, and I feel stupid now that I think about it. X____x But really, it had such a great plot. Adam is one heck of a bishie, as well as Tomoki. Masaki-kun reminds me of Hiwatari Satoshi. ^^ Check it out, y'all! I highly recommend it.

Crappiness, my stomach is hurting. Must. Eat. Food. NOW!!

Meh. I know I vowed to make my vacation a fruitful one, but it seemed I've yet again broken another promise. Shame on me. *sighs*

Anyways, it's been roughly about 2 (or 3?) months since I last rambled, but I guess there's nothing new about what's currently going on in my life. I suppose it's just become a habit of mine to only spill the cup when it starts overflowing-- Oh, wait. Now, where did that come from? O.o;;

For the past few months, I've been doing nothing but to sit my bum in front of my beloved PC, engaging in a fierce starting contest with my monitor while munching on some Boy Bawang, my new best friend. I've taken up taekwondo lessons with my baby bro recently, but gave up on it after 2 weeks. I dunno why. One minute, I was SO psyched to do some 45 and Bullet Kicks, then the next, I'd make these lame excuses just to miss classes. Hmmm... I guess my mom was right when she told me that my attention span is like that of a goldfish's.

God, I never knew my life is this boring.

Okay, so much for that. Time for Show & Tell! XDD

See? Seccie-chan is LOVED!! XDD~ Big big hug to the wonderful peeperz who gave me these cards! *hugglezz*

Belated Happy Holidays to all~~